I LOVE you & I love YOU: Listen to this difference

Here’s a perspective: In a relationship, you are in either one of two stages. Hear me out because this distinction might be important.

The initial stage “I LOVE you” is when you’re in love with the FEELING of being in love. And the lasting (yes, not ‘last’) stage “I love YOU” is when, finally, it’s the PERSON you’re in love with.


Yes it’s possible to be in love while not yet actually being in love with your partner. To make it clear, this stage is NOT wrong. It’s even quite automatic to go through this.

The initial stage does not have a period. This can go on through the first week, the first three months, or maybe even the first year. The relationship can also end here.

This is when you tell yourself you love him because he makes you laugh or fetches you on a late night or literally aligns with your trail of thought.This is when you stargaze together but instead see more sparkle in each other’s eyes. *cheesy wink wink

Maybe, you said “yes” on that day you got mesmerized by that tantalizing stare and his genuine smile when he asked the question. And hey, that’s love right there! It may be true, but it might not last – the love for the feeling of being in love. 

Oh sure you can argue with me that hey, it’s because you got to know him or you saw something different in him – that’s why you said the magic word.

Admit it. You fall for someone because he lightens up your day. Sounds self-benefitting, yes?

Then eventually, the sun sets. The sky gets cloudy. Relationships get shaky. Because fact is, feelings fade.

So let me ask you this: Have you been with him through his darker days? 


Had there been times you were on a good mood while he wasn’t and you basically had to put up through the bad vibe?

Had the dull days come when he just got less creative of his surprises and sent shorter than usual text messages?

Or had you ever angered him and ended up hearing words you never imagined he was capable of saying to you? 

Yes there are those and so much more you didn’t sign up for. But hey, let me ask you again.

Did you turn that vibe around and stayed anyway? Did you instead appreciate the simpler things he continued doing? And when he offended you, did you forgive him?

Well then, you must be in the lasting stage: it’s the person, and not the feeling, that you’re in love with.

I call it ‘lasting’ because this is when it’s enough to fix anything. Worse fights will happen. Unnecessary people will interfere. And there will be mornings when you guys will just get less excited of seeing each other.

Someday you’ll forget how fresh and thrilling love feels like. But even after all those bad days, everything goes back to the person who made you feel. And after a while, that bad day will pass. Today let me assure you, it will.

So try to think again: What builds your happiness? Is it him merely making you happy or is it more because you’re making him happy? The latter is selflessness. That is love.

Note that excitement is temporary. Real love is permanent. It does not come in percentage, it’s just either there or it isn’t. 

Because when the time comes that your relationship is the one that’s burning even on the most silent of nights, that’s when it’s worth keeping. 

SO, LISTEN TO THIS:

Love not just the feeling. And when it’s a blur, please, remind yourself to continue loving the person anyway.

LIVE-IN

Maganda naman ako ah?
Iiwan mo raw ako, sabi nila!
Eh ang tagal na kaya nating live-in.

Bakit?

Pangit na ba ang bahay? Kulang ba ang pagkain?
Dinadaya ba tayo ni Manang sa singil ng renta?

Sige na.

Mangungutang na ako – wag ka lang umalis.
Pinturahan natin ang dingding, walisin natin ang sahig…
Ayos lang ba, tulungan tayo?

Oh!

Ayan nakatingin ka na naman sa iba!
Sagutin mo nga, kailan ka ba huling nagandahan sakin?

– Pilipinas 

If I’m rich, which should I buy first – new phone or new life?

2016 was when I struggled the most between being caged and breaking free. The reason? I’m bound by living in the shadow of MONEY, I think we all are.

But it’s inevitable , you see. We are all victims of consumerism  – the belief that it is good for people to spend a lot of money on goods and services. So no matter how much I felt the need to stand by my own ground and decide for myself, I could not because I am not yet a tax-paying income earner. But even those who already are find themselves to be prisoners of dissatisfaction because the truth is, we can never have enough. Reality check, my dear friends – life is a price we have to pay.

Hands down to people who have found self-actualization and contentment in living by the principle: The best things in life are free. But you see, the world is NOT free; we are caged by its selfishness of offering even those we should naturally be receiving – education, home and even love – in exchange for hard-earned cash. This is why people can’t even afford to be truly happy.

What to do about it? This article is not to sugarcoat these bitter facts; because the truth is WE DO NEED MONEY. 2017 should be the year we change our mindset, especially on expense management.  Financial literacy should be the one that’s going viral over the net. Since it isn’t, start with yourself and find a way to improve your spending habits. Personal advice, INVEST on the right pockets.

As for me, I do not wish to get rich to afford a new phone or an epic car – though I’m not crossing them off my list. On the short term, I wish to afford independence and free will to avail a few decisions. Seeking approval is a price too high that doesn’t even let a person actually live his own life.

Dear Stranger

There were neither butterflies nor sparkle when you walked by. But you had a lot of prim, and that caught my attention. Then you started the conversation. Oh you never flirted, no ostensible hints of any kind. You simply got me with your storytelling.

After a few laughs over dinner, it just felt easier. You were no longer a stranger, I guess. Though it was a bit scary, you know why? Because the stranger to me now, was THIS feeling.

I wasn’t ready to love again just yet. But you taught me not to prepare. Instead you said as long as we both wanted to date some more, we simply had to see what happens from there. There was none much we knew about each other. But we gave curiosity a chance, and leeway to familiarize, so I stayed a little more while.

Then, dear stranger, love did happen. And I figured it doesn’t always come in glitter or magic. For the record, it unfolds with COURAGE to ask – from What’s your name? When are you free? Where should I pick you up? To questioning the reason of why anyone should ever try love… Why not?

On Church-goers

While we respect those who don’t go to church, we also can’t judge those who do.

I go to church every week. And speaking for some, it’s NOT a religion requirement.

It’s a float from drowning
a stretch from coiling
a pull from repelling
And most importantly,
a hush from crying…

Because for every day in a week, we all break a little. And somehow, even just for a day, we wish it would ALL go away.

To me, that happens every Sunday.