To the Person I Had Taken For Granted

How were you ever left unnoticed, when you were there all the time?

Either I didn’t look, or maybe didn’t really try.

 

Your goodness was loud, but, to me, your flaws were louder.

Why do I keep choosing to listen to the latter?

 

Thoughts, you had a lot of them right?

I don’t know why I fell asleep each time you stayed up at night.

 

Oh I remember, you loved talking about your art.

Until one day I stopped asking about it, I guess that was the worst part.

 

You were consistent

yet I was ignorant

until you felt almost non-existent.

I forgot, you were important.

 

I made you wait for something to change

only to have ourselves estranged.

What once was alive,

now we have arrived

at a neutral, pointless range.

 

So to the person I had taken for granted,

I mean – to my old self that, today, I still am taking for granted…

We used to be a lot of things before, so where have the golden days gone?

 

I need some reminding.

I keep on forgetting, you ARE an important one.

Anesthesia

Numbness, they say, is an absence of feeling
yet I think it’s an absolute overpowering
like chaos within an external immobilizing
or deafening screams of a mouth. not. disclosing.

Maybe numbness is rationally not recognizing
what we uncontrollably have been feeling
or perhaps a conscious shift of expressing
from crying to yelling. to. actually. breaking.

Numbness is a facade we keep on fabricating
inconsistent to the emotions we are suppressing;
or maybe we ourselves are incapable of identifying
these unruly thoughts we had. long. been. hiding.

How can the ability to feel get tiring
and tiring turn to anesthetizing
what the heart has been demanding
kept secret inside a body. that. stopped. moving.

How I wish the state of being numb really existed
because the truth is, I’m exhausted
of the rage that cannot be defeated
or the love that can never. be. retreated.

And so for some sort of timing, I waited
to finally shout these words I collected.
Maybe it’s better to admit we’re affected?
Yet we cling to the momentary relief of being. numb. instead.

Sunny Side Down

You were my favorite breakfast, I yours.

We blended like bread and butter

Bacon and eggs, toast and jam…

Then one day, I’m sorry love, but I got fed up.

So I left you on the table

Until you turned into that bread, hard as rock.

The next morning, you found another plate.

A new twist of breakfast, more of your taste.

It’s wrong to miss you, my favorite one

It’s wrong to miss the sweet taste of your kiss

Hey, breakfast is done. I must leave for lunch.

But love, why leave crumbs on the floor?