I’m mad. I’m lost. I’m frightened with what’s about to happen. I’m afraid with where my thoughts are heading. I have no idea with what to do with myself now. All these, I couldn’t handle at the moment. But you know what the worst part is? I am alone. No one will understand me. My family doesn’t, my friends don’t and not any one does. What scares me the most is even I am clueless. Who am I? What am I? What am I about to become? Compared to what I know of, the blind can see more colours, the deaf can hear louder voices and the crippled can walk extra miles. Breathe in. Breathe out. Or should I stop breathing instead?
I felt perfect some ten years ago. You guys know what my only problem was? Well, actually, it’s the fact that I can’t think of any. Hilarious, perhaps it is. But my life, then, was a dream. And right now, I’d need all the daydreaming possible. Because at the moment, I wish those fairy tale-like days would carry me back. This may be childish, but I want my lollipops and pigtails again.
But no, that couldn’t be. Nothing could be harsher than reality. It slaps you in the face and crushes your heart. It disguises itself with lots of laughter and cheers. And without you even noticing, it kicks right back at you with grief and rejection. Reality is but the worst enemy one could ever have. Oh how I’d love to slap him back.
I may be wrong, but I’m happy. In this kind of society today, who needs good deeds? Even leaders forget to portray propriety. Well. To the ones reading this now, I know you’ll all be judging. It’s the 21st century isn’t it? People would accuse each other of being bitches and shit. So why bother explaining my story, right? I can’t please everybody.
Cinderella-ish, a definition of who I thought I was. Some innocent and dear little girl, ignorant of what life is about to bring to her, that’s she. Should she be belittled by everyone around her, who cares? She felt content. But somewhere beneath the chambers of her heart, whispers shout. Every kid wishes for the most amazing things. Had it not been granted, she doesn’t know. I don’t know. How do you possess the most amazing thing in this cruel world? Or does it even exist, really? Extinct, it might be.
To step out of the conventions, that is the way. Who said you should think outside the box? Life is about creating your own boxes. Who says you should do this, do that? Depend on no one. Say you be one magnet, the laws be the other. Repel. Defy. Become a rebel. Some teenagers remain misunderstood as soon as they start rebellion. People yell, “Stop doing this, stop doing that.” Have you thought about asking first, “Why are you doing this, why are you doing that?” Too much stopping could trigger strength; strength of breaking free.
Cinderella wasn’t home by 12AM, as she was supposed to. What happened after? She was screamed at, she cried. But she earned her happy ending. If she did follow that one rule, she wouldn’t meet sweet Prince Charming. It’s quite funny how not most expect fairy tales would be as ironic as teaching youngsters inappropriate things. I’m now happy to have realized this, aren’t you?
Rebel. This isn’t always good to the eyes of many, but it has often been very reasonable to me. Ask my story? Forget it. Follow my blogs hereafter, and know bits of my broken individuality. I’m wrong, but not sinful. I may be specious, but I’m plausible.
I am Cinderebella, the blogger with scratched glass slippers.