Numbness, they say, is an absence of feeling
yet I think it’s an absolute overpowering
like chaos within an external immobilizing
or deafening screams of a mouth. not. disclosing.
Maybe numbness is rationally not recognizing
what we uncontrollably have been feeling
or perhaps a conscious shift of expressing
from crying to yelling. to. actually. breaking.
Numbness is a facade we keep on fabricating
inconsistent to the emotions we are suppressing;
or maybe we ourselves are incapable of identifying
these unruly thoughts we had. long. been. hiding.
How can the ability to feel get tiring
and tiring turn to anesthetizing
what the heart has been demanding
kept secret inside a body. that. stopped. moving.
How I wish the state of being numb really existed
because the truth is, I’m exhausted
of the rage that cannot be defeated
or the love that can never. be. retreated.
And so for some sort of timing, I waited
to finally shout these words I collected.
Maybe it’s better to admit we’re affected?
Yet we cling to the momentary relief of being. numb. instead.